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My best advice is always to keep living your own life, Sandie; keep focusing on you and creating a beautiful life for yourself apart from this man who means so much to you, so that what he does or doesn't do fades into the background of your life instead of being the main focus.
By keeping your options open, and remembering to only commit to him as much as he's committing to you - which means you have strong boundaries around what a friendship relationship looks like and you don't cross those lines unless he clearly lets you know by his actions as much as any words, that he is ready to commit to you and wants to have a real relationship with you, and is on your page.
We will tell you what you need in a relationship, where you screwed up (without knowing it) in past relationships and a customized action plan to make your next relationship successful.
We had a rough start because I could not trust anyone and he was not over his ex.
Seriously --- just sit at a mall, wander down the street and hang out at the bars tomorrow and see how many greying guys are out with hot beach bunnies!
4) This whole move by POF is likely from young women's requests --- for every one saying old creepy men need not apply in their profile -- there's probably a lot of others that voiced this "silently" to the admin.
I think women are too unfamiliar or "polite" to set their admin settings to not receive message from old guys.
Many websites say to leave if a guy says that he is not looking for a relationship. I'm not sure if you've read it yet, but it speaks to what you are struggling with here.
Never used POF before, but jumped on for shits and giggles since I'm recovering from food poisoning. Here's a few notes: 1) There's something called Love Systems who has (or had) an instructor named Nick Hoss I think who was quoted as saying something like the biggest age gap you can realistically game is 10 years anyways.
It won't let me search 18 year olds at all, and I'm 28. 2) I went out partying for the last 3 days and noticed there were more Asian Male / White Female couples (or at least appeared to be about 6 of them) which is more than I any old guy / young females out there for the last year or so!
But if we do, if we can't see it objectively and a little part of us dies every day that we remain with someone who isn't there, then that's the greater concern here. If the two of you are meant to be together, you will be, but only if both of you are eventually on the same page and are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen, regardless of circumstances.
The difficult part here is that there are no guarantees that he will ever want more than a friendship with you, and what to do with that part.